Is one of your parents Jewish but not the other?

Are you in a mixed marriage?

Welcome to life in Modern America!

The last three Bar/Bat Mitzvah's in my synagogue were the McDonough, the O'Brian and the Mahoney kids!  (I kid you not!...)

A few years ago I was in Albuquerque, NM at holiday time.  My family decided to visit the very nice mall there on a day when Chabad (Lubavitch) was giving a demonstration on how to squeeze oil for a Chanukah menorah from olives.  

As the Rebbetzen (wife of the Rabbi) was readying the demonstration, we noted several Native American families sitting on the benches eagerly waiting for the demonstration, right along with us.  (Life in America!...)  And we saw a number of men who looked like they might be Jews from New York - all of them with blonde, WASPY-looking wives!  (Life in America!...) 

When the Rebbetzen asked for some volunteers from the audience, a few children went up to her demonstration platform.  She asked one little blonde boy - with a tiny upturned nose - what his name was.  Mathew, he said.  I chuckled to myself.  Obviously this kid was not Jewish - but it seemed nice of her to include him.  Then she asked him what his Jewish name was.  Huh?!  I was embarassed - was she nuts?  But he muttered something into the microphone that I didn't hear and then the Rebbetzen went on to demonstrate the pressing of olive oil.  Interesting.

Later I went to talk with her.  I said I had been amazed when she asked the little boy, Mathew, what his Jewish name was.  She said, Did you hear his answer?  I said, No.  She said, "Mordechai."

Life in America today!

So - what do we do?

It seems to me we try to keep hold of every Jewish soul we can - as obviously Mathew/Mordechai's parents were doing.  One way to do that is to be sure that children are correctly considered Jewish under all the branches of Judaism AND to be sure they're educated in Jewish ways, history, thinking, religion, etc.

AND the best way to keep Judaism IN THE FAMILY is to actually DO the wonderful Jewish rituals and customs that have been handed down from generation to generation over thousands of years - because these customs and traditions really WORK!  They really DO keep Jews WANTING to remain Jewish - WANTING to raise their children Jewish - WANTING to keep Judaism IN THEIR LIVES - because the practices are both meaningful and delightful.  And they truly help to strengthen the bonds within Jewish families. 

You might want to check this out:  The One Most Important Jewish Ritual for Your Family To Do...

Or -

Click here for 18 Ways to Deepen Your Judaism - for suggested wonderful traditional practices to enrich your family life. 

If you yourself are the product of a "mixed" union - you are also welcome to engage in all these Jewish customs and practices.  We would advise that you consult your Rabbi as to the status of your Judaism - as that is an important factor.  BUT remember - even if you are not considered Jewish - because the "wrong" parent (father rather than mother) is Jewish - you can always go through a conversion process.  We know many people who have and of course it was an important step to them.  They WANTED to feel totally, irrevocably, 100% Jewish because they KNOW how great it is - truly - to be Jewish.  You can do that, too.  But there are complexities with this issue.  Do consult your Rabbi about it. 

(If you must convert to be considered Jewish, know that once you go through that process, you will indeed be considered 100% Jewish.  It's really an all-or-nothing situation, so far as traditional Judaism is concerned.  So why not go all-the-way?) 

AND we urge you to read and study and engage in as much Jewish activity as you can.  It's there for you, too - to enjoy and partake of and bring to YOUR family.

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