THE REAL REASON WHY IT'S GREAT TO MARRY JEWISH...

There are many reasons why it's great to marry Jewish.  Surely you're familiar with the common reasons given:
- You both have so much in common
- You share values
- You share background
- you "speak the same language" 
- Your children will be considered Jewish from the get-go
- Your home will be Jewish
- You will maintain Jewish values, traditions, teachings
- You will help sustain the continuity of the Jewish People, etc.

All of these reasons are excellent and important - truly - and worthy of serious consideration.  To marry OUT of Judaism is to NOT have these benefits in your life - this is true.

But to me the biggest reason to marry Jewish is so that you can lead a truly Jewish life as a family.  Now when I say that I mean it in the most basic way - such as, you all participate in lovely Jewish rituals such as lighting Friday night candles - making latkes for Chanukah - discussing the meaning of certain prayers - or the Rabbi's sermon - or current events - or sharing Friday night Shabbat dinner - going to synagogue together - all these good Jewish acts.  And you share the same BASIC premises - that you really CARE about the Jewish people and Israel and Judaism.  

In addition, there is the pleasure of the deeper rituals and way of life - such as the whole family participating in a traditional Shabbat.  This is truly one way to have a Very Good Family Life together.  It's kind of hard to explain in a quick and easy way, the power of it.  (And perhaps it helps if you come from a broken home, as I did.  This perhaps gives you a greater sense of appreciation for a harmonious, family-centered way of life...)

But - in our experience - a man and a woman who come together out of love and respect and shared values and dreams - who maintain a Jewish home WITH THE IMPORTANT RITUALS incorporated into their way of life - take living a Jewish Life to a HIGHER LEVEL. 

There is such pleasure in sharing Judaism as a family - in coming together and having a Shabbat dinner - going to synagogue as a family - sharing Jewish rituals and Life Cycle Events - these things are DIFFERENT when you share them under the "CANOPY" of Jewish ideals and traditions.  The thing is, there is RICHNESS and GRATIFICATION and JOY and DEEP PELASURE in sharing that kind of life.  It really is the ultimate in being Jewish - having a truly Jewish home with a family that fully enters into Jewish rituals and practices. 

In my shul - in the country - 75 miles from Manhattan - recently there was a bat mitzvah - the McCarthy girl was bat mitzvah.  (This, by the way, was a few weeks after the McDonough boy was bar mitzvah - I kid you not. (Such is life in America now, of course...))  I had a good chat with the father of the bat mitzvah girl as I know him from the business world. 

So his name is McCarthy and he's got a bunch of Jewish kids.  But he didn't convert and he has no interest in converting - no real involvement with Judaism beyond the fact that evidently it doesn't BOTHER him that his children are Jewish.  He told me with pride that his entire family is intermarried in various ways - his brothers and sisters are married to Protestants and Mormons and other Jews - and he thinks this is just fine.  Ok - I would not argue with him.  It seems to me that he's happily married and it's a harmonious household and that's all to the good.

But to me there is a giant VOID in terms of the commonality of leading a JEWISH HOME LIFE full of JEWISH RITUAL, discussion, ideals, practices, way of thinking - all sorts of things.  The man is decidedly a good man - a good husband and father.  In that way there is no reason that Mrs. McCarthy shouldn't have married Mr. McCarthy. 

But if I were at the age of dating, I would choose a Mr. Bernstein over a Mr. McCarthy any day - because to me, the Jewish way of life IN THE HOME is one of the wonderful parts of being Jewish - and I wouldn't want to give that up.

Have you experienced these wonderful rituals that having a Jewish marriage and Jewish home would involve you with?  If not - it's something to think about in terms of trying them out.  Perhaps you could visit with someone who is observant and see for yourself how wonderful it is to share a Shabbat meal with family and friends - how wonderful it is to go together as a family to synagogue - to have discussions where you're all reading from the same Song Book - literally! 

We say try it and see if you don't think
it's a wonderful thing....

THAT'S the biggest and best reason
to marry Jewish.   

 Click here for 18 Ways to Deepen Your Judaism

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